Friday, May 01, 2009

Ways to kill yourself on a Friday afternoon

1.) Ride your bike to Casa Maria for lunch with Lindsay. See the 2 gigantic hills. Get scared. Switch to gear 1. Almost feel yourself go backwards. Pedal so fast that you are barely moving. All done, shit...see hill #2 up ahead. Repeat above move. Start to die. Turn bright red, begin to sweat like pig. Drink from water bottle. Damnit, not enough water can slow down your heart rate. Casa Maria is right there. Lock up bike, go inside. Drink all your water. Feel like you need to take a shit. But you already did before you left the house. Lose appetite. Eat a little and take the rest to go. Lindsay thinks you are crazy.

2.) Ride downhill and not die. Skirt flies up many times giving the cars on S. 1st a good show.

3.) Wait an hour and take fat dog on a brisk walk around the neighborhood. Dog begins to slow down and pant like a fish out of water. Start to sweat and wonder why I am subjecting myself to this torture. Turn back, take dog inside. She collapses on floor with tongue hanging out. You think that's not a bad idea.

4.) Stare at cold beer in fridge. Think about all the goodness you did for your body today. Contemplate beer. Close fridge, sit on couch and contemplate playing Oblivion. Forget it. Go blog about your afternoon, drink some water and take a nap. You deserve it.

3 comments:

Greycat said...

I really wish we'd have been able to hang out while I lived there.

Dawn said...

We will always have our memories of Topaz :)

Dana said...

Way to get in your daily bike ride!!! Once you drink your water, it is okay to reward yourself with a beer :o)